Being in a relationship where your partner is constantly trying to change you can be really draining. After all, isn’t love supposed to mean accepting someone as they are? Imagine if your partner was trying to make you gain weight intentionally. It sounds strange, but it does happen. As a relationship coach, I’ve come across this issue more than once. Recently, a woman emailed me saying, “My boyfriend is making me fat on purpose. What should I do?”
While gaining a lot of weight can raise health concerns, he might just be trying to help if you were underweight or malnourished before.
In this article, we’ll explore why your boyfriend might be trying to make you gain weight and what you can do about it. So let’s dive in.
Why Might Your Boyfriend Want You to Gain Weight?
1. He is insecure:
If he feels insecure, he might worry you’ll leave him. Making you gain weight could be his misguided effort to make you less attractive to others.
2. He wants to control you:
Some people like to dominate their partners. By influencing your weight, he might feel like he has more control over you.
3. He is jealous:
Jealousy can make people act in weird ways. If he’s scared of losing you to someone else, making you gain weight might be his way of lowering your confidence and attractiveness.
4. He wants to isolate you:
While not common, some partners try to make their significant other feel insecure to prevent them from socializing. Gaining weight might be his way to make you more dependent on him and less connected to others.
5. He has low self-esteem:
If he feels bad about himself, he might want you to gain weight so that he feels better by comparison.
6. He is a manipulator:
In an unhealthy relationship, manipulators seek to control various aspects of their partner’s life, including their weight.
7. You have adapted to his eating habits:
Being in a new relationship often means eating out or ordering in more. His eating habits might be influencing your weight, not necessarily his direct intention to make you fat.
8. He wants you to look like his “ideal woman”:
Everyone has their own preferences. If he likes a certain body type, he might be trying to change you to fit his ideal image.
9. He wants to end the relationship:
If he’s looking for a way out but can’t face it directly, he might be hoping weight gain will push you to leave him.
10. He is unaware of health issues associated with weight gain:
If he himself leads an unhealthy lifestyle, he might not realize the health impacts of weight gain.
What to Do If Your Boyfriend Is Making You Gain Weight
1. Talk to him:
Have an open and honest conversation. Let him know how you feel about his actions and express that you like your body the way it is.
2. Discuss your eating habits:
Talk about your eating preferences and fitness goals. Explain that his attempts to influence your diet are making you uncomfortable.
3. Say “no” to unhealthy foods:
Set boundaries and assert yourself. Don’t let him pressure you into eating foods that go against your fitness goals.
4. Exercise regularly:
Keep up with your exercise routine, even if he discourages you. Let him know staying active is important for your well-being.
5. Educate him on health consequences:
Explain the health risks of gaining weight and why you want to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
6. Help him overcome his insecurities:
Support him in addressing his insecurities. Encourage activities that could boost his self-esteem, like hobbies or therapy.
7. Encourage healthy eating together:
Suggest that you both commit to eating healthier. Trying new recipes and exploring healthy cuisines together can strengthen your bond.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can your boyfriend cause you to gain weight?
Yes, if he regularly encourages you to eat junk food and discourages you from exercising.
What should I do if my boyfriend calls me fat?
Confront him and express how his comments hurt you.
Final Words
If your partner is trying to make you gain weight, it’s important to address the issue. Express your feelings and educate him on the health risks. If he doesn’t stop, don’t hesitate to leave the relationship. You deserve someone who respects and accepts you as you are.