Online dating certainly hasn’t disappeared, but the pandemic saw more people trying to find love online. While many have a positive experience, it can also affect one’s self-esteem and mental health. Constantly being ghosted or dealing with ‘breadcrumbing’ (where someone shows just enough interest to keep you dangling but never commits) can be exhausting.
In response, a new trend called guardrailing has emerged. This involves adopting behaviors in online dating to protect our energy and set boundaries, preventing others from messing with our minds and hearts.
Sounds interesting? Let’s dive into how guardrailing can make your online dating journey smoother and more positive.
Guarding Against Overwhelm
Guardrailing helps manage potential overwhelm by encouraging us to be mindful of who we share our energy with and how we do it. This means setting and sticking to boundaries. If a match sends a message that doesn’t align with your values, don’t ignore your discomfort. Politely but firmly walk away instead of thinking you won’t find someone else.
Guardrailing also means not overcommitting socially. Avoid scheduling multiple dates a week if it feels too much. Do what feels right for you, allowing time for self-care and reflection. When setting up your profile, don’t hesitate to establish your preferences. Whether it’s about smoking, dietary preferences, or age range, be upfront in your profile.
Being Confident in Yourself
Guardrailing is about valuing and protecting your energy. Know that you deserve love just as you are. Don’t feel the need to add filters to your photos or present yourself in an inauthentic way. If you wear glasses and are tempted to leave them out of your profile pics, resist the urge. Instead, consider investing in frames you feel good about.
Body confidence also plays a role. Often, our view of ourselves is harsher than others’ perceptions. Don’t shy away from showing your full self in your photos. Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities in a person.
Zero Tolerance
One of guardrailing’s key benefits is being intentional about where we invest our energy in online dating. It moves us away from feeling like we need to hold onto every potential match due to fears of missing out or questioning our worth. Guardrailing encourages us to assess connections with both our hearts and minds. Be confident enough to decline a match or a second date if it doesn’t feel right.
Listen to your instincts, and at the first sign of undesirable behavior like breadcrumbing, cut your losses and move on, keeping your self-esteem intact.
The Emergence of ‘Open Casting’
Open casting is a trend that complements guardrailing. It involves moving away from a set ‘type’ and opening up to different kinds of people you wouldn’t normally consider. This encourages more mindful dating, breaking free from limiting patterns. When you set up your profile, think about what truly matters to you and be open to unexpected connections.
Taking a Break
Finally, guardrailing means understanding that it’s okay to take a break from online dating if needed. No explanations required—if it’s not enjoyable, pause your account or delete it entirely until you’re ready to return.
Guardrailing is ultimately about focusing on your needs and ensuring others don’t have the power to undermine your self-worth.