Being in a relationship where the connection is lost or just not working can lead someone to make some pretty drastic decisions, like finding a new partner without leaving the current one. This kind of situation, known as an overlapping relationship, typically occurs towards the end of a relationship.
An overlapping relationship happens when someone starts dating a new person while still in their current relationship, using the new partner as a backup before officially ending things. A question that often comes up is, “Do overlapping relationships last?” The short answer is no, they don’t. These relationships are built on dishonesty and deception, making them unhealthy. Cheating on your partner is never a good foundation for anything. When the new partner finds out, they’ll feel used and likely end things.
People often get into overlapping relationships hoping the new partner will fill the gaps left by their current relationship. When these hopes aren’t met, disappointment sets in, leading to another failed relationship. Essentially, overlapping relationships cause emotional harm to both the new and old partners.
Here are some reasons why overlapping relationships usually fail:
1. High Expectations: People enter overlapping relationships with unrealistic expectations for their new partners, hoping they’ll make up for all the flaws of the previous one. These high expectations, if uncommunicated, are usually unmet, leading to disappointment and failure.
2. Wrong Reasons: Overlapping relationships often happen because of the fear of being alone or the desire for a substitute. Such relationships lack emotional connection and are bound to fail.
3. Unhealthy Foundations: If you’re dating someone just to avoid being alone rather than out of genuine feelings, the relationship won’t last.
4. Unresolved Feelings: Overlapping relationships often fail because unresolved feelings from the old relationship interfere. The new relationship is built on shaky ground, like a trial-and-error experiment that usually falls apart.
5. Filling a Void: Trying to fill the emptiness from a failing relationship with a new one won’t work. The new partner can’t fill the void left by the unresolved issues of the previous relationship, leading to dependence, tension, and eventual failure.
6. Pressure: The pressure to make the overlapping relationship work can be immense, leading to stress, arguments, and its collapse.
7. Lingering Over the Old Relationship: When the person still has feelings for their old partner, they might compare the two relationships, uncertain about their choice, which ends up ruining the new one.
8. Lack of Care for the New Partner: If you’re not genuinely interested in getting to know your new partner and are just using them as a substitute, the relationship won’t last.
Although some overlapping relationships may work out, it’s rare and generally involves a lot of openness and agreement from both parties. However, overall, they are unhealthy and emotionally taxing.
Now, let’s look at the downsides of overlapping relationships:
1. Emotional Damage: Your new partner will feel hurt when they realize they were just a backup plan. Your old partner, even if the relationship was ending, will feel the pain of betrayal. It’s a lose-lose situation emotionally.
2. Lack of Independence: Fear of being single often drives people to these relationships, but it’s important to learn to be self-reliant and handle being alone healthily.
3. No Healing: Jumping into a new relationship without addressing the unresolved issues from the old one stops you from healing. You need time to heal to have a healthy relationship in the future.
4. Reputation Damage: Overlapping relationships can destroy your reputation, making you appear untrustworthy and unfaithful. It’s better to end things cleanly before starting something new.
In conclusion, overlapping relationships rarely work out. The fear of being alone might push someone towards these kinds of relationships, but they are bound to fail. The best way to handle an ending relationship is to confront the situation, improve yourself, and avoid repeating past mistakes.